Thanks to my mom (surprisingly) for sending me this one.
It should be noted that many of these do not stick precisely to the 5-7-5 form of haiku. Perhaps they should be titled "Pseudohaiku." But perhaps we don't really need to think about this that much -- I mean, we're looking at Transformers-based poetry, here. Let's not get too picky.
Haiku from the Transformers
by Shaun Clayton
Megatron
I am a small gun
Now I am a large robot
This makes no damn sense
Optimus Prime
I don't want to lead
I want to drive the open road
Country music, beer, yes.
Bumblebee
Stuck as a Volkswagen
I am small, weak, easily beaten
Bots call me lil' bitch
Starscream
I try take power
I scheme I plot I betray all
My parents didn't love me
Jazz
Bitchez love my style
Metal hos by the dozen
Envy of bot homeys
Grimlock
Grimlock smash smash smash
Smash smash smash smash smash smash smash
smash smash wind is nature's ennui smash smash