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What is there to say? He's gone.

I'll spare you the details. Suffice it to say that our beloved cat crashed, hard, Friday afternoon. 24 hours and many, many doctors later, we are quite sure it was an extremely dangerous and painful form of cancer and we're completely sure that he was unlikely to survive the week without continued intensive care. The next decision was only complicated by the fact that we searched and searched for every possible solution to have both Samantha and I here to be with him. Unfortunately that just could not happen.

God, this feels like a nightmare. I feel like I went to bed on Thursday evening and just woke up, and the trips to the multiple emergency clinics and the blood transfusions and all the money and the agonizing, terrible decisions and the wonderful internal medicine specialist at VCA West Los Angeles and the unbelievable, paralyzing stress -- it was all so surreal -- it couldn't have really happened. But I look around and it is just Robert, looking slightly lost. He is not here.

He was so good, my friends. He was so quiet, and just kept looking at me with his patient eyes, and curling up in my lap after getting to a new exam room. I think he was the most calm one the whole time. If you've met him, you know he was a charmer. And he was charming everyone the whole time.

The hardest part was not letting him go -- though that was incredibly difficult. The hardest part was that the timing was so extraordinarily bad, so Samantha couldn't be there to say goodbye. He was her beloved for many years, and she trusted me with him for this time. But I believe he knew that. He knew her love was there through me. He was such a smart one.

God, I can't believe how hard I'm crying just writing this. For those of you who have to put up with us the next few days, I apologize in advance. It's not our fault -- he made us fall in love with him.


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Comments (1)


It is always small solace to say that you've been there. And still: I've been there. And Andrew, I'm so, so sorry. Losing a pet is truly losing a family member, and I am crying with you.

I don't know if you remember Patches, but she died while I was out in CA on choir tour my senior year. I had always told myself I'd be with her when she died, because she was definitely my sweet, sweet buddy. While my parents and sister were with her, I wasn't. I am confident she knew just how loved she was, but it didn't keep my heart from breaking.

This is a terrible thing for you to go through alone, and I'm really sorry Samantha couldn't be there. Somehow, the pain will fade and the memories will remain. In the meantime, it is right to be sad for such a wonderful, sweet, loving creature. Take care.


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